Naboth and me

I was reading yesterday morning (see below). I am not even in this section for my reading, but was reviewing, so I could 'leave' this part. God totally reminded me, through this part that--I was, in my heart, being like Naboth.
Let me back up just a bit. On my Birthday, I try to guard against a 'Its all about me' attitude. I EASILY set up expectations in my mind that if unmet, leave me feeling bitter, frustrated, angry, etc...all those yucky things! Well, I did not expect that to happen this Mother's Day. Tim is always absolutely WONDERFUL about making me feel special, giving gifts, etc, etc...all those nice, sweet things. (He is on my birthday too...but my evil selfish heart wants, MORE MORE MORE!!!)

So I was NOT guarded against this selfishness this time, because I didn't see it coming and WHAM...was my heart ugly! I didn't even notice it till Monday morning... When I woke up, it just hit me! Like WHAT DID I DO? Than I read the Scripture below and saw myself in it. I see that Naboth wanted something and pouted when he didn't get it. He thought he deserved it (many thanks to Jezebel for that). Maybe it wasn't all his fault, but God did punish him for it, so he was at fault in many ways. (Jezebel also gets punished)

Interesting really, because in the previous verses/chapters... He wins 'back' all his own things. Ben-Hadad had demanded all his things, but GOD delivered Ahab from Ben-Hadad and defeated him. SO MUCH mercy, so little thankfulness. Very closely describes me! Thankfully, God forgives and did forgive me and the JOY that that brought is indescribable! :) Funny, when I want, and want and want., I am miserable, but when God brings me back to him... JOY!!!

1 Kings 21

Naboth's Vineyard
1 Now there was a man named Naboth, from Jezreel, who owned a vineyard in Jezreel beside the palace of King Ahab of Samaria.2 One day Ahab said to Naboth, "Since your vineyard is so convenient to my palace, I would like to buy it to use as a vegetable garden. I will give you a better vineyard in exchange, or if you prefer, I will pay you for it."
3 But Naboth replied, "The LORD forbid that I should give you the inheritance that was passed down by my ancestors."
4 So Ahab went home angry and sullen because of Naboth's answer. The king went to bed with his face to the wall and refused to eat!
5 "What's the matter?" his wife Jezebel asked him. "What's made you so upset that you're not eating?"
6 "I asked Naboth to sell me his vineyard or trade it, but he refused!" Ahab told her.
7 "Are you the king of Israel or not?" Jezebel demanded. "Get up and eat something, and don't worry about it. I'll get you Naboth's vineyard!"
8 So she wrote letters in Ahab's name, sealed them with his seal, and sent them to the elders and other leaders of the town where Naboth lived.9 In her letters she commanded: "Call the citizens together for fasting and prayer, and give Naboth a place of honor.10 And then seat two scoundrels across from him who will accuse him of cursing God and the king. Then take him out and stone him to death."
11 So the elders and other town leaders followed the instructions Jezebel had written in the letters.12 They called for a fast and put Naboth at a prominent place before the people.13 Then the two scoundrels came and sat down across from him. And they accused Naboth before all the people, saying, "He cursed God and the king." So he was dragged outside the town and stoned to death.14 The town leaders then sent word to Jezebel, "Naboth has been stoned to death."
15 When Jezebel heard the news, she said to Ahab, "You know the vineyard Naboth wouldn't sell you? Well, you can have it now! He's dead!"16 So Ahab immediately went down to the vineyard of Naboth to claim it.