The I Kings 1:5-31 passage is like an overview of watching God work out a struggle.... There is conflict and God resolves it. :)

Yesterday God showed me a piece of the big picture ;) He lets that be seen to encourage I think. I pray and He shows me something, that is encouraging me to pray and teaching me that I can trust Him.... Still if i don't see (because that is his grace to show me some of what He is doing) I still need to trust. For now I am so grateful that He allowed me to see :) I Pray that He will help me to trust when I don't see!

So many things going on in my mind. I am seeing such struggles all around me.... I was going to talk about the I Kings passage....But instead :)

I was thinking about all these struggles....And how my view of it makes all of it seem hopeless...But than I saw one of those squirrels run by, that God is in control of, and I remembered who I was doubting!! I am so sad that I am so forgetful of who HE is and who I am! Of course I don't see what needs to be done, or how he is going to do it, I am not Him! He has also taken care of so many things, so many times, in so many cool ways.....soooo here's my choice today ( I think I will have to make it over and over, as my mind forgets )....To trust God with my friends, to know that He can do this (He's been doing it for all eternity after all :)--o, and He doesn't need my help :) ....Oops, thot he did :)-- he could probably do a much better job if I didn't keep interfering ;)
So....there's the joy....when I leave it with Him...otherwise, I have worry, and turmoil and sadness....but trusting in HIM....brings great joy and peace--kinda seems stupid to choose not to trust (why do I keep forgetting?)

This is joy to me!! Being at the lake....if only it had been warm enough to get in ;)

I am rejoicing in the power of God's word (and friends influence) to change me, I didn't spend time (not significantly anyway) meditating on my passage yesterday, because I was struggling through (big time, majorly ;) not being a loving person --it was consuming my thots, to put it mildly.... soooo I remembered that a friend had told me of meditating on I Cor 13. I knew my (that would be God) problem and I knew where to find what God said about it. I spent some time meditating on it and discussing it with a friend...Than, not in a BAM moment, but g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y it sunk in and God restored a loving spirit --tho-I know it is the HOLY SPIRIT....Not my spirit, because I could not and did not change myself yesterday, until God did it!! Soooo that is why I am rejoicing!! :) Because God.....

Meditating on I Kings 1:5-31 and beyond...But this first part is my focus today. Here's what I see happening. Adonijah wants to be king, rightfully in those days he would have been next in line...But David according to my chronological bible (maybe this isn't right, not sure) Solomon has already been established as king. Adonijah hasn't been disciplined AT ALL by David, his father, he may think that he will get away with this. He hasn't heard even a 'what are you doing' from his dad. David is very near death and is oblivious to all that his son is doing now. David has several of his 'people' that have joined Adonijah's side... Is all lost for Solomon to be the next king?

no.....


Because God will and does accomplish his purposes...Through Nathan the prophet and Bathsheba, who go to David. Even if Adonijah thinks he has it made here.

ok....So even though Adonijah is asserting himself.... God is in control...God's plans are to have Solomon as king. Who's plans happen?----

God's of course.... soooo I place myself in Adonijah's place here for a second. I want to do 'such and such' sin...... I do it. Will God's plans be ruined?? Of course not, so is it ok if I do that sin?God's plans will still stand. Well, to all others, everything is fine. But do I want to be that kind of person, Do I want my own way? (a lot of times, yes) Basically going against God's plans for my own purposes, and taking others with me?? (sometimes this is what I want) Well, NO!!! It all sounds good in the beginning (from my human perspective) to be getting what I want, but at what cost??!!

So I guess it comes to a choice. God being sovereign in all of it of course. (This is what God has been speaking to my heart this weekend now that I am thinking about it) As I am interacting with people through the day, I encounter choices over and over. These are my normal /everyday choices that can be about me/or about others. I don't have the chance to make myself -say- President of the USA or something. My wrong choices involve asserting myself over God in saying it is ok if I sin, or get angry, or try to be more important than God. Choosing my way over God's way....... Someone crosses my will and I get angry. Someone doesn't do what they are told and I am angry. Plans change and I have to adjust. OK> choice.... Get angry, or say, 'it's not worth it' and let it go.... If I can let it go, or choose God's way-- I have avoided hurt, more anger and frustration. If I can't let it go or choose my own way, than there is usually conflict and sometimes it takes much time and effort to resolve that and if I have already chosen to be ugly about it, than I am not in the right frame of mind to resolve it. Plus, God is not going to be pleased with my wrong heart and I have put a wall up, shown myself more important than God, so to speak, in my relationship to God. I don't know that Adonijah's had a relationship with God, but the principle is the same. Bottom line--disobedience and sin has consequences AND God's purposes will be accomplished. So I need to ask God to get my heart on board with his will, purposes, etc, or live in misery and sin :)...... That choice seems pretty easy. But really it isn't easy....I absolutely cannot do it!! I need God to align my heart with His purposes, than he will enable me to make that right choice. This is getting confusing. But it is ALL about how my heart is before God--or what God is doing in my heart. All about God really.... I am an observer with responsibilities ;) hee hee

But I wonder if Adonijah ends up with any consequences...... Well that's coming up for me to find out I guess.

this is so confusing...But that seems to happen as I go through a passage....I think I will land somewhere, sometime :)

OK, this is totally silly, but than you will be getting to know me better if I let you in on the silliness...That's just how my mind works ;)

Yesterday.... I took my boys to see Cars...The movie, and as I was sitting there.... (love this movie by the way...Highly recommend and so good if you can see it at the movies) I was thinking about what we have been talking about in our small group --Jesus being in you, living inside you as a believer. I was seeing these cars interacting with each other and thinking that the cars in the town are influencing this outsider/race car for good...They are rubbing off on him :)

....So not only sharing the gospel, but as we just live out life as a believer/follower of Jesus... We are (as we abide in HIM) making a difference and 'rubbing off' on others... So even if we don't get a chance to present the gospel...God is still doing his work through us.

Makes me see to trust him more, not depend on my 'doings', but trust what He is doing ;) and REST in that. You understand I am not saying I don't have a responsibility for obedience, etc....But it's all about God and what He is doing...In some ways I can be a spectator :) watch and learn ;)

more of the watching that I am doing....

today as I sat still before God... I was watching out the window....My first thought was Sunshine!!! Than I sat and watched the dew in the grass sparkling....Declaring God's glory!!! Tiny little sparkling drops of water, but how beautiful and if I didn't STOP and LOOK>>>> I would have missed it....Declaring God's glory...I would have MISSED IT....kinda wish I could just stay there...But, well you know....Can't sit on the couch all day ; )

k, I better stop...

Well, I think that opening my heart up to God with honest feelings and letting Him hear my cries for help...Than in His gracious mercy, He puts my eyes back on Him, by whatever way He wants and in HIS timing! But thankfully, He knows best, He knows the best timing and He can be trusted even with my feelings! ( He uses friends, scripture, songs, etc.... How creative He is in this! )

How wonderful when He gets my eyes back on HIM...What satisfaction and joy-- to go from 'having the blues ' (focused on self) to HIM changing me to be satisfied in HIM (focus on HIM)

What do we do when we are 'made for joy' but fighting the 'blues' ???

more on this... As I think about it :)

I am starting to meditate on another passage today, so not much of anything that I have come up with yet;)... (I King 1:5-27)

This renewed practice of meditating is really very exciting to me. God has used several things to confirm that I need to be doing it. I really am enjoying it! There is anticipation when coming to a new passage, but also some fear. What if I don't see anything here??

....But I always do....And mostly my goal...(and saying this here to remind myself)....Is to see what God is doing in the passage and to learn more about him.

Did you ever think of the wind as the breath of God???

My mind was blown away when I was thinking along those lines today!!
Enjoy HIM much today....see where you can SEE HIM!!!

Here's what I am trying to get into my THICK Head today....

"....to learn th practice of living in God's presence, seeing all life in relation to Him, and looking to Him, and Him alone as Commander, Defender and Rewarder."

from Knowing God by JI Packer

I was pondering a lot today and thinking about seeing God.... I also started reading 1Corinthians that a friend has encouraged me in reading.....Here's a part of an email that I wrote a his friend today. I didn't mean to, but as I was writing her I really started to SEE what I wanted to see.
That's why i am sharing it....I am scared to do this today, because I am showing you my pride : /

But i guess I can be real here....nobody really reads this anyway ;) hee heee




"I was soooo glad for this today (both your thots and what God was saying in Corinthians and for you directing me there) as I feel like I spent yesterday trying to figure out that passage...I think I was trying to gain knowledge (knowledge for knowledge sake), but not God!! I want God...I want what God is in the bible!! I don't care if I never get a nother inkling of wisdom...I want God!! Make me new...Like him, etc.... All the Bible is about is God...I want to see that there.... I know there has to be practical application.... But I really want to see what God is!!

I was thinking about this today as I looked outside....Like a squirrel....Running on the wire.... God is controlling that squirrel...But me...I couldn't even catch that squirrel if I tried, Let alone, touch it or get it to do what I want!!! The people driving down the road, I can't even catch those cars....Let alone know those people or even say hi!!! Yet God knows everything about them... Down to how many hairs on their head.... Elementary I know...But that is where I need to be I think.... I am such a prideful person...I can't believe it!!! Speaking of pride.... :) oooops...Can't help it!!! I think that is where David's issue is.... He is prideful in the numbers and he is causing the people to be prideful by counting them...Making much of them... And much of himself.... But God (here's why the census is such a big deal...It slammed me when I realized the pride in my life) shows them who is powerful by wiping out 70,000 people --NOW who is powerful....Who has cause to boast..... Here's the speculation ... God did tell David to do the census, but Satan caused David to do it in pride (total heart issue.... Not evident to others...Seems to us like not a big deal) .....

sooo..... David repents.... He feels bad....but when he sees the consequences of his sin he can't stand it (that guilty feeling you were talking about....That makes him FULLY repent) .... I know some of all this is coming from what you were telling me...But it is helping me put this together.... Anyway, God is using all this to get the temple where he wants it, showing his power and complete superiority over people....He also punished the people...Maybe their issue was pride too...Maybe that is what he is angry with them about ...Maybe they already think they are all that and this causes them to be even more prideful in themselves..."

sooo the issue seems to be pride.... I know I could be soooo wrong...but that really deals with where I am right now--Pride.... thinking that I am higher than God (what a stupid thought!! I wouldn't admit it out loud, but that is what my heart feels!!)

1 Cor 2:26-31
"Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world's eyes, or powerful, or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose those who think they are wise. And he chose those who are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important, so that no one can ever boast in the presence of God.

God alone made it possible for you to be in Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made Christ to be wisdom itself. He is the one who made us acceptable to God He made us pure and holy, and he gave himself to purchase our freedom. As the Scriptures say, 'The person who wishes to boast should boast only of what the Lord has done.'"



But.... hopefully God has redirected my thinking, at least for this minute. I pray that HE will continue to keep me in the right direction on this path to HIM!!

I was doing this really regularly, this meditating/thinking process, but I had stopped doing it, really accidentally. But when we were at small group a couple of weeks ago we were talking about how we do our devotions, and I was telling them all that I do this and I realized I wasn't doing it like I used to. So I went back over some of 2 Samuel that I had already read. I also have a chronological bible that I am working through which helps, because I have both passages right there. And this passage is where I ended up pouring over. 2 Sam 24:1-18 and 1Chronicles 21:1-22:1. I am so glad to be back to this process. It is really so fun and it eventually helps me to get 'into' it. I feel like I can understand more of what is going on and put myself there.....

sooooo....This may get really long...... :)



Wow...
this 2 Samuel and I Chronicles passage has me searching, searching.... I wish that like Job we had the view of what happened in Heaven. Like when Satan is with God and God talks to him about considering his servant Job. Because, it is hard to see why Satan and God 'cause' David to do this. I am speculating, but I wonder if David is somewhat innocent* in the matter. Here's something that I wonder about.... David was the king.... God is angry with the people... Maybe David is ignorant of what sin the people are committing and so God is taking matters into his own hands. Even though God is taking matters into his own hands... He is involving David, as in letting him choose the punishment, etc. David feels remorse over the whole thing and asks God to punish him because he is the one who sinned. God calls him to sacrifice, and he does and the plague is stopped... Although God already stopped it, it's just that now we 'see' the death angel put his sword back..... This line of thought I am enjoying, because it shows God's omniscience, omnipotence, mercy and being in the ultimate control. He is using David's 'sin' to count the people, David's remorse to cause him to sacrifice. And His voice, thru Satan's idea (the sin... God can't be the one who suggests that David sin) to tell David to do this (2 Sam 24:1)


... Still.... I wonder why this census is such a bad thing. Tim's IVP Bible background commentary suggests that it was something to appease 'the gods' in ancient times to call a census and that was why David was doing it (in view of God being angry about whatever he is angry about, because it doesn't say why He was angry) So maybe that is why??

Here are some facts about the passages

--God is angry with Israel
--Satan rose up against Israel
--God and Satan cause David to take a census (2 Sam 24:1 and I Chronicles 21:1)
--the Lord told David to take a census
( My thoughts here for a minute :)maybe the Satan knew that David wouldn't take a census unless God told him to do it, which would show godly character on David's behalf and shows that God used this sin/issue for HIS purposes)

--Joab asks why David would want to cause Israel to sin (I Chron 21:3)


on to some thoughts (not necessarily facts) on the 2nd half of this passage--

--God is very displeased with the census and punishes Israel for it


--The IVP commentary that I referenced earlier suggests that the death angel was very similar to the death angel in Egypt.
--Araunah says 'may the Lord your God accept your sacrifice' I am sad that Araunah doesn't seem to have a personal relationship with God here, but David is being a witness to his God--so maybe after this Araunah does have that....But at the beginning he did not have it....Surely after witnessing what he witnessed, he would have to believe in this God of David :)

ok.... I will quit for now ;)


Feel free to comment and correct me on any of this....These are just my thoughts and I enjoy flushing them out. :)




*I am very much not sure on this and do not want to say that David wasn't sinning.....David does seem to be sinning here.....just flushing that out in written form..... seems that David's pride could be why he wants to number the people. Especially in view of all his past issues with Absalom, losing his kingdom, etc... Here he has his kingdom... counting it could be a sign of independance from God. Either way, God is using this issue to accomplish His purposes

Here's my thoughts today.... I know they are all so totally random and I am may land somewhere on them sometime, but not yet ;)

I am reading in 2 Sam 24 and 1 Chron 21.... This is the story where David sins by taking a census.... 2 Samuel says God was angry with Israel and caused David do it 1 Chron says that Satan caused David to do it.... Interesting... Anyway....

So David takes the census, even though Joab asks him not to, than David's conscience bothers him and he repents.... So Gad comes to David and gives him the 3 options of punishment that God is giving him. God will do whatever David chooses.....

1. 3 years of famine
2.3 months of fleeing enemies
3. 3 days of severe plague in the land.

David chooses #3 because he says he doesn't want to fall into enemy hands, but God's as God's mercy is great

So God sends a death angel and apparently this angel is visible at least to David and Araunah.
70,000 people are killed and than God relents and tells the angel to stop...So the angel is apparently hovering over Araunah's threshing floor. In the mean time David sees the death angel and feels remorse.... Saying that he is the guilty one and to send God's anger on himself and his family.... But God apparently makes a way of escape for David in instructing him to make a sacrifice. So David sacrifices, by buying Araunah's threshing floor (even though, Araunah wants to give it all to David) and than the angel puts his sword back into the sheath... David keeps sacrificing there and eventually decides to build the temple there, even though the tabernacle was currently in the wilderness at the hill of Gibeon... "Because he was terrified by the drawn sword of the angel of the LORD"

any way, this story is so fascinating to me with the whole angel of death, I have been pondering that a bit :) also wondering about
--God's mercy in this and judgment
--God/Satan causing David to sin
-- God punishing Israel, wonder what they were being punished for this time (lack of love for God likely )
--David's repentance is interesting, did he fully repent originally, or not fully till he saw what the death angel was doing
--Why was David terrified of the drawn sword of the angel if it was sheathed.... Was he remembering it and was it so terrifying that he couldn't get it out of his head


I know this is long... But there are so many what's 'going on's' in this ...

mostly I wonder what can be learned of God in this passage.... There seems like there is so much that I could be missing

I do love how God chose to stop at Araunah's threshing floor, you have to believe that he was SOOOOO grateful that God spared him ....And of course he wants to give David his threshing floor and all that would be required to stop the plague!! But David doesn't want to offer God something that costs him nothing.... And how cool for Araunah that the temple gets built on what used to be his property ;)

anyway, guess I could go on and on ....But I won't